What to Expect in Your First Counselling Session
First things first it is completely normal to not know what to expect in counselling.
For anyone starting counselling on the Sunshine Coast, including Noosa Heads, the idea of sharing an inner world with someone new can feel strange, vulnerable, unfamiliar, maybe even a little awkward. Yet counselling can also be deeply grounding when the space feels safe, when there is room to be seen, heard and supported without judgement.
Healing is something most of us will continue doing throughout our lives. It is not a destination but a lifelong process, an unfolding that happens slowly with patience and care.
The first session is an opportunity to learn about what to expect in counselling, how the therapeutic process works, and what it might offer for what is currently being faced.
It is a time for both the therapist and client to develop a mutual understanding of one another, a gentle beginning built on openness and curiosity. This mutual understanding matters deeply; it is just as important for the therapist to understand the person sitting opposite them as it is for that person to feel a sense of understanding toward the therapist.
Sometimes it helps to bring a few notes to the first session, especially if words feel hard to find in the moment.
Questions like:
What brought me to therapy
What am I hoping to gain or explore
Have I had therapy before and what helped or did not
What is currently causing stress or difficulty
There is never any need to share everything at once, only what feels natural and comfortable. Well, perhaps it won’t feel natural and that is okay!
Notes can simply offer a starting point, a small anchor in a space that may feel new. The more open both people can be, the more possibilities arise. A shared curiosity can grow around what may or may not be helpful and that becomes part of the unfolding process.
Expect kindness. Expect to be met with empathy.
Most counsellors, psychologists and helping professionals come to this work because they genuinely want to support others. Many have walked through their own challenges, learning from those experiences so they can offer understanding and compassion.
It is also natural to feel nervous, shy, awkward or unsure. Nerves have a way of showing up differently for everyone, through silence, talking too much, forgetting what to say, or feeling completely blank. All of it is part of what to expect in counselling.
Finding the right therapist can take time though sometimes the connection happens much sooner than expected. Some people re-start therapy after many experiences of counselling and are looking for a therapist to support the season they are in, some are beginning. Safety is everything and it can be hard to feel at first.
The therapy room is such an intimate space, one that invites us to sit with our most tender parts. Sometimes it is immediately clear that a particular counsellor feels right and other times it can take a few sessions or a pause to reflect on whether it is fear asking us to pull away or an intuitive sense that this is not quite the right fit. Trust in the ability to discern what feels true.
Expect to be met with warmth and safety. And if that is not felt, it is okay to notice it.
Not every counsellor and client will be the right match. Each professional brings their own qualities, some offer practical guidance, others gentle listening, skills for emotional regulation, or simply a steady presence. Different seasons of life call for different kinds of support.
Expect, too, a little discomfort. Counselling often invites honest self-reflection and sitting with emotions can stir things up.
Some sessions may bring relief or lightness while others might feel tender or uncertain. Occasionally there is what some call a vulnerability hangover, that feeling after opening up deeply. It is often a sign that something real was touched.
Therapy is at its heart relational. It is about meeting what is present without judgement and slowly making sense of it together.
Trauma-informed counselling pays attention to safety, gentleness and the body’s cues. It may bring laughter at unexpected moments or quiet understanding where there once was shame.
The process can help reveal patterns, soften defences, and remind us that we are not alone in our struggles.
As Beyond Blue notes, mental health is deeply nurtured through connection and community. It is in places where people feel safe, seen and heard that real support can grow (beyondblue.org.au)
What happens in the therapy room is one of the bravest things a person can do. Letting down guards, showing vulnerability and learning to trust takes time.
As researcher Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing, it is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
It is this courage that sits at the heart of every healing conversation.
Research shows that the most powerful factor in therapy’s success is not the theory or the method, but the relationship itself.
A commonly cited breakdown of what contributes to change in therapy suggests around 40 per cent comes from client and extra-therapeutic factors, about 30 per cent from the therapeutic relationship, 15 per cent from expectancy or placebo, and 15 per cent from specific techniques.
The PACJA paper explains that a strong connection between client and therapist built on trust, safety and understanding is one of the most reliable predictors of meaningful change.
Be gentle with yourself. All of the awkward, uncertain, ‘do I have to say this again’ and difficult moments starting or re-starting counselling are expected. They are part of being human and they are part of what to expect in counselling.
If you have any questions before, please feel free to send me an email with any. I have had many myself!
With care,
Alana